being left out.

sometimes i wonder why other people....umm, really, have places to go. yan ka na. i'm really landlocked inside. i got tons of work on my computer. shall i say? i haven't been outside since the last covid vaccination. so really. what if i don't have places to go to, or things to do? am i really this happy inside? i think i know what you mean. nagagandahan naman ako sa gamit ko.... but why am i wondering if i should really have this hello kitty set of ballpens already? bakit, ganon nga ako mag-isip? i want a leather journal already, sa upstairs. kung bakit, i wanted a scanner. so i can upload drawings. pero sabi pala nila mag-drawing sa computer. bakit, umm, nalungkot ako. bakit hindi ako magaling mag-drawing sa computer. nagluto pala ako ng isa lang. hindi naman ako nag-grocery? andami kong ingredients. pero wala akong pambili ng ingredients. umm... i made one coffee. antagal naman pala magluto. antagal pala maghalo ng mga stuff. antagal naman maglaba. antagal mag-plantsa. naisip ko nga yon eh. gusto ko din maglaba.

nasa computer na ako. kailangan ko daw magsulat. nalaman mo ba, nag-fall behind ako sa computer nung bata ako. talaga akong nauwi sa window. i fell behind from the required books also. i mean, my growth really fell behind. i couldn't grow old enough to match the....reading level of those books.

i really...needed to go to school. my growth and maturity couldn't match that reading level yet. i'm sorry. i really couldn't grasp the language of those books yet. i really understood...lots of art history textbooks in high school. i understood required novels also.

wala akong ibang maintindihan. walang inabot yung growth level ko. 

i really wanted hello kitty things....kasi gets ko yon.

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